Wishes...

Sometime ago, I had the thought below:

"Life is always Trials and Errors with various emotions not exactly knowing where we are headed for. 

Some say that our life is already blueprinted in advance, but I have recently a lot of thoughts that my wishes will never be matched with the divine's ones for me. And so I need to give in my life in the end anyway.

What's the point of trying to believe in my future?

However what I have now reached is the point where somehow I might have pictured myself standing at..."

In 3 days, I'm going to celebrate my 44th birthday, and I'm really going to draw a line this time between my wishes an my reality.

Masami